Misconception: Women have lower sex drives than men.
The Truth: Women do not necessarily have lower sex drives than men. What women do have is a desire to connect on an emotional level with their partners.
Ideally, a woman would be able to connect with her partner in an emotionally-safe environment. She wants to be with someone she truly cares about and who truly cares about her. When a woman is engaged in this manner, her sexual desires will be heightened. Any inhibitions that she may have had will have begun to fade away. She will actually want to be with her partner. She will want to please him and be pleased by him.
But when a women suspects that her presence is preferred primarily at times when she can provide sexual pleasure for her partner, then that will reflect in her sex drive. She, naturally, will not respond well to being used for sexual pleasure, or to feeling tolerated when she is not actively being used as a sex toy.
So, the question becomes: How emotionally secure does your female partner feel in her relationship with you?
If she does not feel loved, appreciated, and emotionally secure, then chances are high that you likely perceive her to have “a low sex drive.” If you only touch her when you want to get off, then she probably has something of an emotional wall up when it comes to you. If you speak to her in a demeaning and/or disrespectful manner, then she is not going to welcome your touch. If there is an air of expectation regarding sexual favors, then 9 times out of 10, you probably have to bribe her and/or beg her for sexual favors.
If you want your wife to want you, to crave you – then give her something to crave.
After all, why on earth would she want to share body, and thus her most intimate self with you, if you have absolutely no appreciation for any part of her – outside of the parts of her body that get you off?
Of course, there are exceptions to any rule. So, yes. There will absolutely be women who do not fall into this category. In fact, any Dominant Female worth Her title is not even going to be in this position. But this article is not addressing the relationship between Dominant Female and submissive male. A number of men find their way to BDSM looking for excitement and variety that they do not seem to be able to get at home in their vanilla (non-BDSM) relationships. A number of men are turning to BDSM out of frustration, not necessarily because they belong in this space. And, if that is the case for you, then heed these words:
Learn to love and respect your wife. Treat her with kindness and consideration, as a norm, and not just when you are sexually aroused. And understand that changing any sort of negative dynamic between you and your female partner is not going to happen overnight. For every year that you have invested in establishing negative patterns, you can expect to spend at least twice that long establishing positive patterns. So, we are talking about quite an investment. And, if you have chosen the right woman to be with, then the investment is totally worth it.
Lastly, all parties in a relationship contribute to the overall environment of the relationship. If you and your partner need professional counseling in order to work through your issues, then invest in that service. (Please note – this is not a plug for AlisaCoaches, as Mistress Alisa generally does not offer couples counseling.) In short, if your relationship is important enough to you, then invest in it. Investing in 15-20 different relationships with women, men, shemales, and/or trans-sexual/transgender individuals is not in any way going to help address the issues that you have at home.
If your partner is important to you, then invest in your relationship with her. And if sex with your partner is also important to you, then you have even more of a reason to invest in your relationship with her.