Until an addict understands what makes him tick, he will not be able to manage his addiction in a healthy manner. And it is quite normal to think that by virtue of the fact that you have lived in your body your entire life, that you understand yourself. However, that simply is not true.
Without an acknowledgement of one’s driving forces or of the nature of one’s voids, there can be no healthy resolution to addiction. “Why can’t I stop?” is a question that I am frequently asked by clients, and it is a question that no one is equipped to answer better than the client, himself. I can offer a professional opinion, one based on my many years of experience in the lifestyle, but no explanation that I could offer would be nearly as meaningful as the goldmine of information that the client has within himself.
After all, it is what is buried within that the client is truly searching for. I facilitate the journey and support the client along the way, but the work is his and his alone. And the pride and satisfaction that come from working effectively through the issues also belong to the client.
To begin your journey of recovery from addiction, to understand why you rely so heavily on a porn and/or sex addiction, answer these questions:
- What am I looking for?
- What am I afraid of?
- What causes me pain in life?
- What am I running from?
- What pain am I holding onto from the past?
- At what points do I feel badly about myself?
- At what points do I feel good about myself?
Answer these simple questions. And no matter how intimidating it may be to be completely open and honest with yourself, do it. And you will begin to gain insight into the addictive patterns that have such a stronghold over you. And if you need help during the process, speak up and ask for help. Addiction is very rarely something that can be conquered in a solitary environment.
The important thing is to be honest.
Lies, deceit, half-truths, lies through omission, and manipulations are nothing more than a breeding ground for addiction. If you are not prepared to be a person of truth and of integrity throughout your journey, then you are not prepared to walk in the freedom that awaits you on the journey. Know this to be an absolute truth.