It is, indeed, a sad state of things when a person is compelled to ask, “What is wrong with me?” And it is a tricky question to try to answer. Some will say that there is nothing wrong with you – that human beings are flawed by default. The argument, in essence, is that there is something wrong with all of us, and therefore there is no standard for someone who has absolutely nothing wrong with them. In short, we are all human beings and each of us has issues to work through.
It’s just that society judges people with certain issues more harshly than those with other issues. There is a hierarchical scale.
But having issues to work through, as a result of the human condition, and battling with addiction are two different things. And that is why I take the heart’s cry seriously when a client asks, “What is wrong with me?”
With addiction, you need to be able to get to the heart of what hurts you, what frightens you, what you are running from, etc. With addiction, you have to be very specific about sorting through life’s issues. It is, after all, those very issues that hold the key to addictive patterns. When processing your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, you will be able to identify your triggers. And it is those triggers that, when switched, will compel you to find comfort in your addiction.
Without the acknowledgement that there is, indeed, something wrong, an addict will likely never uncover the mysteries of his own addictive patterns. He needs to be able to understand why he makes the choices that he does, what he gets out of being an addict, what he is looking for, what he is running from, and so much more.
To some, “What is wrong with me?” is a negative question that must be dressed up in a kumbaya-sort-of song and dance of words.
But, in the world of addiction, one cannot afford to embrace the escapism of frilly language. Working through addiction is gut-wrenching. It is hard work. You will feel lonely, frustrated, angry, and like everything inside of you is falling apart. And when that happens, know that you are doing the right thing. When that happens, know that your work has begun; that you are taking steps on the journey to recovery.
So, instead of seeing this question as a method for pointing out your short-comings, your human frailty; try seeing this question as a means to uncover what it is that troubles your aching soul.