Addictions encourage an individual to be distracted. And if your brain is allowed to develop in this manner, unchecked, it can be extremely difficult to learn how to actually focus on oneself.
This is not so easy to detect because we do train ourselves to focus on goals – you know, to do whatever it takes to get what we want or need in order for the big picture to come to fruition. But the average person in our society will have absolutely no idea what is going on within himself at any given moment.
What is the true source of the underlying frustration in your life? Most do not know the answer to that question. This truth is even more prevalent in the lives of individuals who struggle with addictive patterns. An addict’s urges can be triggered by pleasure, pain (physical or emotional), good news, bad news, rejection, boredom, or just about absolutely anything under the sun. Sexual release becomes the way that this person copes with his own emotions. Because evading his emotions has been such a long-standing practice, any hint of a true emotion can be overwhelming.
Emotions equal vulnerability. And if a person already does not feel safe in his own skin, in his own space, in his own mind…the last thing he wants is to feel vulnerable.
Enter: The Art of “Being Present.” This is about learning to abide with oneself in a place of calmness; of stillness and tranquility; of sweet peace. It is in this place that you face yourself, once and for all. You acknowledge layer after layer of issues that have weighed you down so much over the years that you became desensitized to the oppressive natural of all of those burdens. Learning to be present is about being able to bravely turn over those individual rocks that you have ignored for years and years, telling yourself that those matters are too trivial to bother with. Meanwhile, the weight of it all keeps piling up on your shoulders.
When you are present, a couple of beautiful things happen: 1) You start to see your truth, 2) You start to trust yourself (as opposed to fearing and judging yourself), 3) You start to appreciate yourself, and 4) You start to love yourself. But, think about this – How can you possibly love yourself, when you do not even know yourself? And to be clear, loving yourself is not the same as being compelled to provide the comforts of life for yourself.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Learning to be present is intimidating, and it most certainly is not an easy thing to do. And though the journey is full of much difficulty, it most certainly is worth it! So, start now…
Take a deep breath and without fear or judgment, embrace your truth in this very moment. BE present.