We went through the motions, but never got back to loving and giving to each other 100%. We devolved into a sexless marriage. We still loved one another, but the trust was gone.
Over the years, we have continued to be active as a couple. We do still love one another, but have never re-established intimacy, sexual or otherwise, in our relationship. And intimacy is so essential for a healthy soul, certainly for my healthy soul.
Eventually, after several more years, and after I had spent so much effort in aimlessly seeking out my own fulfillment, the dam broke. We realized that our marriage was in more trouble than we had initially thought, and it wasn’t clear whether or not our relationship would survive. We finally decided to go to counseling.
I went into the sessions in the spirit that I had been the reason that we had ended up that way, and I was ready to work hard. The counseling helped tremendously. We learned to live more harmoniously.
We enjoy being around each other and doing things together, but we have never, ever, been able to cross the chasm of unconditional trust, nor have we been able to be openly intimate with each other again.
To this day, there is never, ever any physical touching, apart from the occasional hug.