There are a couple of key factors underlying most destructive patterns: fear, self-doubt, self-hatred, negative self-talk, confusion, and an immense amount of pain. My clients’ problems with sex addiction stem mostly from unresolved issues, which have become infused with a combination of any of the above-listed destructive patterns.
Peeling back the layers of a troubled life is a painful task. Indeed, it is a challenging process. Yet, it is something that each client must be willing to do. However, the act of allowing issues to go unresolved is what results in problems becoming compounded and increasingly complex over extended periods of time. Therefore, becoming skilled at addressing issues, as they surface, is a much-needed skill for sex addicts.
The inability and/or unwillingness to deal with issues leads to years and even decades of emotional turmoil. And if a client has conditioned himself to rely on sexual release to deal with life, that dependency will only grow as life becomes more challenging.
So, a client does himself a great service when he learns how to get in touch with his own feelings, and to express himself in a healthy fashion.
In short, the journey ahead is full of challenges – and yet, it is all full of an abundance of rewards. Clients on this journey gain peace. They become fulfilled, and though it may sound a bit like a fantasy, they do begin to live their best lives possible.