You can only give what you possess, and if you give all that you possess, then you will have nothing left for yourself. Giving to the point of self-detriment creates frustration, which leads to angst, which leads to anger. A person who feels empty will give grudgingly. Eventually, they will refuse to give at all. They may start to keep track of all that they do and use that information as ammunition against the person to whom they have given. They may start to demand things in return for even the smallest acts of kindness.
Judgment seems to be a common characteristic trait of human beings. We judge those whom we know and even those whom we do not know. And within mere moments of meeting a person, we “size them up,” making determinations about intellectual ability, character, integrity, trustworthiness, and even how interesting we find the other person. Over time, these judgments only continue to grow. A person with an abundance of secrets is often in search of a safe place where he may be himself.
Have you ever tried talking to someone who obviously has emotional walls up? There is an invisible barrier between you and the person with whom you are attempting to connect. A person’s emotions are guarded more safely than the most expensive treasures. Gaining the initial trust of a person so that he will open himself to you can be achieved with some difficulty. However, any trust that has been gained will have to be protected, if one wishes to maintain that trust.