Having a solid support system when working through addiction is crucial. It is important to have those in your life who love and support you for who you are. Common sense, right?
Well, the challenge is that it is a part of human nature to take for granted those who are closest to us. Introduce addiction to the equation and this part of human nature can become something of an ugly monster. With addiction in the picture, there is almost a guarantee that some bridges have been burned; that lies have been told, that many seeds of deception have been planted, and that there will be family and friends who no longer wish to even tolerate the addict’s presence.
It’s a sad situation when you want support, and when you need it, only to discover that those around you are no longer willing to extend themselves to you.
Building trust is difficult the first time around. However, once that trust has been lost and one needs to rebuild it, the challenge is even greater.
Relationships are precious, as are the people who actually engage in relationships with us. It is important to respect those people, as well as the unions that we enter into with them. If we acknowledge an individual as a friend, then we should treat the individual as such. If we acknowledge an individual as a lover, then we should treat the individual as such. If we acknowledge an individual as a sibling, then we should treat the individual as such.
If you wish for those in your life to acknowledge you as one whom they wish to support, then you must be of the mindset to respect those people and who they are in your life.
Think about your fondest memories. Not the moments that excite you sexually, but the ones that touch the deepest parts of your being. How many of those moments have to do with your fetishes? Your addictions? How many of them have to do with creating a special moment with someone else? How many of those moments have to do with loving and being loved? Appreciating and being appreciated? How many of those memories have to do with time stopping and some gem of truth being deposited into your soul?
The voice of addiction lies. The lies that it tells destroys the addict and erodes the fabric of relationships until the people around the addict are connected by mere threads.
As you seek to surround yourself with an effective support system, be mindful of the importance that those individuals will play in your life. Also keep in mind the fragile nature of trust in relationships. Trust is hard enough to establish the first time, but extremely difficult to re-establish once it has been lost.
You are not expected to be perfect, either as a human being or as an addict on the journey to recovery. But if you wish to establish a meaningful support system, you will need to be real. You will get the most out of your interactions with the members of your support team when you are open, honest, and when you act with integrity.
If establishing a team of truly supportive individuals is important to you, then keep these things in mind.